Living In Never-Never Land

"You name it, I haven't done it!" - Ned Flanders

Is your goal in life is to be like Ned Flanders? Mine used to be.

I'm not talking about Ned's stable family life, impeccable health, and devotion to doing good works. Bo-ring.

I mean the nasty stuff: the absolute lack of vices, the asleep by 8 p.m., the mustache.

I especially hate the mustache. When I picture a future where I've lived the straight and narrow, where I've been shackled by my fears, I am ALWAYS sporting a Flanders mustache. It's horrifically ugly. It's my mark of shame.

And yet, I spent so much of my life being proud of the things I hadn't done. Like I had a perfect record. Like I'd one day be rewarded for wasting my time on earth.

Elementary school: "I've never gotten my name on the board." Sounds fun!

Middle school: "I'd never have an earring/tattoo/long hair. That's weird." I was naive and intolerant.

High school: "I don't go out clubbing. I don't drink. I don't hook up with girls unless I love them." Actually, I didn't go clubbing or drink because I was scared, and I didn't hook up with girls because they wouldn't hook up with me.

I was proud of this!

I am still struggling to live my more open-minded values. There are plenty of things I haven't done, but I'm not particularly proud of them anymore.

Expand your comfort zone. Don't believe it every time society tells you something is wrong. Society says that about everything. Blindly following it leads to a dull existence.

Live your values, not your fears and prejudices. Before you decide you will NEVER, EVER do something, really examine it and make sure it is YOUR decision.

For instance, I will NEVER, EVER eat meat again. That's based on my own personal ethics.

I will also NEVER, EVER smoke a cigarette. That used to be the result of societal brainwashing, but now it's because I find them disgusting. I don't want to spend my 60s and 70s hunched over and coughing.

There are others. But fewer than before.

If something is too scary to do, that's fine. Accept it. Don't construct a fantasy world where you are morally superior for never doing it.

I will probably never base jump from the top of the Grand Canyon or get a giant dragon tattoo across my back. But I don't falsely assume that the people who do those things are crazy or immoral.

They're no better or worse than me. But they might be more adventurous. They're less constrained by society's rules.

I've found that the less I judge people for their decisions (as long as they are not harmful to others), and the more I admire their courage and creativity, the happier I am.

And the more I do things I would previously NEVER have done, the fuller my life is and the more stories I have to tell.