Dig A Moat

I'm not taking my own advice today. There's always the temptation to ignore the tricks I know, to go with life's flow, even if I'm flowing into dangerous waters. Tonight I succumb to it.

My advice, which I am ignoring just this once, is to dig a moat between your bad days and your nights.

A moat, like kings and queens used to dig around their castles. Dig it deep. Fill it with hungry alligators. Make it so wide that your demons won't try to cross.

If you don't dig a moat, the demons from your day will follow you into your evening. If your day was painful, your evening will be the same. If you had problems when it was light, you will stress over them in the dark.

I used to let my demons cross over every night.

I'd come home from teaching, wracked from the stresses of the day. I angrily called parents and got even angrier when their numbers were disconnected. In my head, I had vivid arguments with my students. And when I'd wrung every last negative thought from my day, I turned to the stresses of tomorrow.

I had no moat, and there was no difference between my days and my nights. My weekdays became endless cycles of stress and despondency.

You might not be unhappy like I was. It's possible that your demons manifest themselves as physical fatigue. That's something I still struggle with.

There is a simple way around this, and I'm convinced that most people don't know about it or aren't willing to do it. It took me forever to come to this easy, easy solution.

It's simple. Do something that jolts you out of your old mood and clears your mind of the day's thoughts.

Get home and exercise right away. Better yet, stop at the gym before you even get home. Leave your demons somewhere else.

Meditate for fifteen minutes. Blank your mind for as long as you can. You won't solve your problems, but they will shrink away for hours.

There are likely other ways to dig a moat, but those are my two methods.

They are a challenge every day.

Exercising takes energy. Meditation is worse. They both offer a full evening of happiness in exchange for a few minutes of discomfort.

Most days, that won't seem like a deal worth taking. Tonight, I don't have that 15-30 minutes in me. Later, I will regret my decision, but later isn't now.

That said, you should try to dig a moat every day.

Don't take the easy way out, because it won't work. In my experience, watching TV doesn't dig a moat between your day and your evening.

Neither does staring at the wall, or collapsing into your chair, or falling asleep. Snacking is worse. All you are doing is distracting yourself, and while you are distracted, your demons will sneak into the evening.

Digging a moat will give you your nights back. Instead of being ugly xeroxes of your day, your nights become canvases upon which you can paint anything.

You will have energy and drive. You will feel peaceful and happy. Not every night, but enough to convince you that digging a moat is a habit you should adopt.

If you are smart or lucky, you won't need this trick. If you enjoy your days, and if there is nothing waiting to pounce on your evenings, then ignore my advice. With my new job, I don't need moats nearly as much as I did.

I'm convinced, though, that I didn't just describe the state of most people. And I've been unhappy enough to know that I wasn't the only one feeling that way.

Give yourself the gift of evenings that aren't just extensions of a lousy day. Take the time, grin and bear the dig, even enjoy it if you can. Turn your back on the day and embrace a free and clear evening.