Personally, I think the words "dude" and "bro" are kind of stupid. For one thing, they're usually the beginning of a story about how trashed someone got last night. Dude!
Maybe my negative attitude comes from movies and TV. I remember a commercial from the 80's where a father was trying to impress his sons with how cool he was. He walked up to them in a Hawaiian shirt, holding a surfboard, sunblock under his eyes, and asked, "Ready, duuuudes?"
Way uncool, bro.
On the other hand - and there is always an other hand with me - maybe I am not the best person to judge the use of such language.
True, I am one of the more easygoing and nonjudgemental people you'll ever meet. Very little can ruin my cool, even when there is drama raging all around me.
In other ways, though, specifically physically, and in trying new, crazy things, I am a real tightass.
That's harsh but true. One reason I could never be gay is that no guy could look at the giant stick up my butt without feeling totally inadequate.
I know how to have a good time, but I have a real problem cutting loose and having a crazy fun experience. I can't really relax or simply vibe with people.
Like with everything else, I am trying to change that. Could it be that words like "bro" and "dude" are the key?
The more I study people who are good with people, the more I see them using words like "dude" and "bro".
These aren't frat guys or surfers or baby boomers trying to act cool. They are normal guys who have learned to relax around others. They've learned to integrate the language of cool into their intelligent daily lives.
We all know the value of addressing someone with their name. It makes them feel unique and important.
Generic nicknames fall on both sides of that. Obviously, nobody likes it when some anonymous bouncer says, "Let's see that ID, champ!" It's absurdly impersonal and downright condescending.
On the other side of that, though, is a place where you are so comfortable with someone that you drop even the pretense of using their name. It's more natural with close friends, but I've seen people get there with total strangers, too.
In that context, these nicknames can be terms of affection and respect. Even better, they are terms of closeness, of collapsing the walls that exist between people.
These names can also be signs of a more relaxed worldview. They send out the sign that you don't have a gigantic stick up your ass. This might not be a good idea in prison, but it can probably only help in normal social circumstances.
Remember the wacked-out surfer turtles in Finding Nemo? It's probably true that the Eastern Australian Current had washed away some of their brain cells. But they were relaxed. They were comfortable in their own shells. They treated strange fish like old friends.
Simply put, people who use "dude" or "bro" or any other term like that seem to have more fun just existing. They relate to anyone like it's no big deal. Brain cells aside, that seems like a totally tubular place to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment