I have a lot of fears: anarchy, cockroaches, driving in New York City, a big bowl of spaghetti and me without a fork. Actually, that last one wouldn't be a problem at all.
My biggest fear, though, has stuck with me since childhood. I'm scared that one day I will be faced with the opportunity to help someone, to be a hero, and I will shrink away from it.
I won't shrink away because I am afraid or unready. I will be paralyzed with fear because I might end up doing the wrong thing. Because I might flub the situation and make it worse than it was.
The most common scenario in my head is someone teetering on the edge of a cliff. My mind races and my willingness to act drops. Is this person really about to fall? If I reach out, will I save him - or will I accidentally push him off when he would have otherwise been okay?
So I do nothing.
This shouldn't be a big deal. There are no cliffs in Manhattan. I haven't even been to the observation deck of the Empire State Building, lest Tom Hanks run up and declare his love for me.
Forget that. Cliffs are a fantasy. So is Tom Hanks.
There are endless opportunities during the day to do the right thing, and I still avoid most of them because I am afraid of making things worse.
People on the subway are clearly lost. I could give them directions. But what if I send them in the wrong direction? I stay silent.
A woman needs help carrying her baby's stroller up the stairs. I could easily pick up one end and help her. But what if she yanks it away and shrieks, "STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY"? I keep walking.
This is no way to live. For one thing, it's always best to be proactive. Take a chance and do some good.
Secondly, the fears are stupid. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don't shriek. They don't look at you funny. They admire you for stepping out of your shell and doing the right thing.
This is my new mission, and maybe you can do it with me. Seek out opportunities to help people. If you look around,the opportunities are there.
Someone stumbles. Ask if he's okay. In your mind, he might bark at you that he doesn't need help. In real life, he will probably appreciate that you care.
Someone sneezes. Say "bless you". In your mind, people might look at you funny. In your mind, she is an atheist, and you will be forcing your religious views on her. In real life, she'll at least smile at the fact that you noticed her.
Don't hide behind your fears. Look for little opportunities to improve peoples' lives. Then act before you think. I'll do the same.
2 comments:
I like this. I'd add that, even if you don't get the reaction you were hoping for from the person you've helped, someone else may notice and be inspired or cheered by your decency.
I know you don't watch TV, heathen, but there's a Liberty Mutual commercial making the rounds on the airwaves to this effect right now. However, that's surprisingly not what prompted this comment:
I was once in line at a post office, and noticed that this one clerk was far surlier than the others. I was really hoping that I wouldn't be called to her station, just because I was in no mood to be treated like a chore because I wanted to mail something. While I was waiting, though, I happened to look across the room and see a dumb little kid sticking his fingers into the hinged edge of the rapidly closing door. I ran over and shoved it open just as he started screaming but, I think, before he could actually get hurt. His inattentive mom then scooped him up and started tending to him without thanking me, and I got back in line. When the surly clerk finally called me to her window, she smiled and said, "That was a really nice thing you did." Interesting how that worked out.
Thanks for reminding me of that. Great post, as always.
Wow, I love that example.
I'm impressed that it came from......you know, that thing that isn't TV.
That reminds me of the time I only had 24 hours to thwart a national emerg -- wait, never mind.
Thanks as always for reading and commenting.
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