What Just Happened?

A big theme in my life is noticing the moment. This counts for double when it is a moment I've worked towards, an achievement that's taken weeks or months of hard work.

That said, I like an achievement even more when I don't notice it at first.

For instance, I ran on the treadmill tonight at a speed I rarely hit. I flew, and I sweated, and the time passed without much problem.

It seemed natural, as if I'd always done it that way.

That's a wash. For most of my life, I couldn't run. I huffed and puffed and got side-aches after about two minutes. When I exercised, I walked. Period.

That was my life until a year ago, and now it seems like a distant memory. I take for granted how far I've come.

Hell, running is nothing if I don't leave my apartment, my comfortable bed and my air conditioning and my refrigerator, to go to the gym.

How many nights have I said "fuck it" and avoided the gym, avoided the world? Tonight, though, I was acting on a habit, one I've drilled into myself day after day.

I barely noticed I'd left my apartment until I was halfway down the street.

Last example. I was at lunch with friends this afternoon, and I saw a pretty girl sit down to eat. Without thinking much, I excused myself from my friends, walked over to the girl, and asked if I could join her for a minute.

The conversation was terrible, which I'll take full credit for. I ran away after a minute. But I did it.

For as much as I plan for and stress about moments like that, I'd only done it twice in my life before today. But even that miniscule experience brought me to a point where the approach didn't seem like a big deal.

It wasn't as significant as it used to be. That's huge. That means it's become normal, even if just a little.

This is a double-edged sword. You want to give yourself credit for your victories. You want to revel in them, enjoy them, celebrate.

But it is damn cool when you don't even notice them. And when you notice that, you'll have the momentum to plan and achieve other things that, if you're good enough, will also fly by undetected.